Phil. 4:10-12 I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. 11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
One of the great joys of serving as a ministry couple is getting to be part of God’s amazing work in people’s lives. Few things more fulfilling for a ministry couple than this front row seat to Jesus’ work. As a result we grew to love our spiritual family deeply. The other side is there are also shared sacrifices that ministry marriages face to embrace Jesus’ calling to serve the church. If we aren’t careful our response to those challenges can become a bitter burden steals our joy in both marriage and ministry.
The core challenge here is to graciously accept the sacrifice that ministry brings. The key is ongoing contentment. We know Jesus said following would mean self-denial and cross bearing. But we secretly hope that is more for some else than us! I’d rather carry a cross that rests neatly in my pocket than one with burdensome weight!
The core challenge here is to graciously accept the sacrifice that ministry brings. The key is ongoing contentment.
In many places pastors are overworked and under supported. I was in a meeting once where a search team emphatically noted that they wanted their next pastor available whenever they called even though he would have to find other work because they couldn’t pay him. Hmmm. Even generous hearted people in church plants and smaller churches simply don’t have the resources to match their hearts when it comes to supporting their pastors. Sometimes those setting compensations and benefits aren’t so generous and the pastor ends up with the lowest common denominator of what those in the room receive.
For my family, following God’s call meant living many miles away from our extended families without the time or resources to visit them often. Holidays and weekends are workdays for pastors so our rhythms rarely line up with everyone else. Here is the challenge. We can step into the black hole of ministry victimhood OR we can chose a different way.
A Key to Thriving in Marriage & Ministry is Choosing to Be Content! We can do this by trusting the Jesus will always meet our needs in His time and for His purpose! This simple choice helps us focus on our Savior & our calling with grateful faith. Sacrifice is still in view BUT it is not allowed to distort our perspective. Whatever we sacrifice in ministry is not the key to our salvation or fulfillment. Jesus is our Savior. He is trustworthy.
A key to thriving in Marriage & Ministry is Choosing to Be Content! We can do this by trusting the Jesus will always meet our needs in His time and for His purpose!
When we began in ministry we had small children in a small parsonage with limited resources. We sometimes wondered how college would work for them. What we saw however, was that God met our every need, every time in his time! We did not need large resources in advance of our needs. We learned that our Savior, the Savior we asked others to trust & follow, that Savior would always come through! We learned to be content in each season as challenges and needs shifted.
Here are some specifics that helped us deepen contentment and resist resentment:
First we had to accept God’s calling AND provision in each season. Jesus himself lived on earth in complete dependence on the Father, without a storehouse of earthly treasure. Worry about future provision only distracts from today’s blessing & ministry. God knows what we need. Pray, trust and be content. More than once, I have heard my wife affirm for others, that she believed our calling to ministry was for both of us. She would add that it meant we had to trust what that meant for our children as well!
Next focus on what God has provided not what you don’t have today. This is more than financial support. God also provides opportunities, and relationships. God taught Israel daily faith with manna in the desert. We need that same faith in ministry marriages!
Julie reframed most things around what we “get to do” not what “we have to do” I.e. We get to live in a parsonage, not we have to. We get help people connect with Jesus on Christmas eve & Good Friday. We get to love people through loss and help them celebrate births and weddings. Seeing the privilege of what we get to be part of keeps our hearts anchored in Jesus. Of course it takes a great deal of time and energy on what would have been off time, but we also have flexibility to move our off times around if we will. But that is another subject!
Two kids who grew up ten minutes from a Florida beach took a while to adjust to central Nebraska. But we soon discovered many wonderful things! Looking at stars in the night sky, learning about agriculture, the beauty of growing fields, the peacefulness of a blizzard and many amazing friendships.
Finally Choose gratitude when you feel like whining! Paul calls us to rejoice always, to give thanks in everything for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for us! (1Thes. 5:16-18). That applies to ministry families as well. In fact, we should lead the way in modeling this so those we shepherd can embrace it in their lives as well. After all is that a big point of ministry? Simply following Jesus and teaching others to follow Him as well?
Today, I invite you to take some time and reflect on your level of contentment in ministry & marriage. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need a listening ear.
Gut check:
- When have you tended to be discontent because of the realities of ministry?
- What limitations have bothered you the most that come with ministry?
- What helps you move from discontentment to contentment?
1Tim 6:6-7 But godliness with contentment is great gain, 7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.
The Pastor's Life 