Book Highlight: Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership by Gary McIntosh & Samuel Rima

1Tim. 4:16 Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you.

One inescapable reality for all believers INCLUDING those in ministry is that our sinful flesh remains in play. Embracing the call to pastor does not eradicate our flesh. While there are called leaders, there is no perfect leader. There are gifted & godly leaders but none are immune to the sin nature that remains in each until Jesus Himself returns. 

Whether passion, personality or ability every pastor that has an upside also has a dark side. Some are more obvious than others. It is always more obvious in others than it is in the mirror. And therein lies the problem. If our dark side is left unrecognized, unacknowledged and unaddressed it waits to betray Jesus’ work in us and harm His work through us.

“How easy it is for us as spiritual leaders to use our ministry positions and the people we have been called to lead to advance our own goals and meet our own neurotic needs.” p. 213

Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership is an important book that I encountered in my second or third year of full time ministry. It was exactly the warning I needed as my rookie legs became more confident and my leadership muscles began to grow. In this zone we are tempted to trust ourselves too much! McIntosh and Rima not only helped me understand that reality of my dark side but dig deeper to intentionally expose it so Jesus’ redeeming work could do its work!

After helping us understand the reality and nature of our dark side, they unpack five directions it can take in a leader. As I list them ask the Spirit to help you see which way your heart leans without His work. They are:

  • the Compulsive Leader
  • the Narcissistic Leader
  • the Paranoid Leader
  • the Codependent Leader
  • the Passive-Aggressive Leader

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Prov. 4:23

It is often our wounds, weaknesses and needs that shape how we go about making life work. They may look different for each but if left unsanctified they are equally harmful to us and the people we serve! For example they write, “many codependent leaders have destroyed themselves in ministry as they tried in vain to keep an entire church happy and meet every other need while ignoring their own family and personal needs. Burnout, divorce, adulterous affairs, and physical illness can result when a leader fails to redeem his codependent behavior.” (p. 147).

Any of this sound familiar? This book may be exactly what you need this year. They use many scriptural examples along with powerful reflection questions and self-assessments to help us understand the specific tendencies of our flesh. They remind us of the many faces of self-focus and pride. It is worth taking the time to slow down and prayerfully examine your own heart in Jesus’ presence. Thankfully they don’t leave us to wallow in it.

“The constant flow of failures among Christian leaders today in every denomination threatens the fabric of the church of Jesus Christ.” P. 214

The final third of the book focuses on how to overcome our leadership dark side. The five steps they lay out are essentially a path of intentional sanctification through continual recognition, confession and resistance of our flesh as we more deeply anchor our life in Christ. We learn to become better followers and let Jesus exercise greater control over our hearts and leadership in these crucial ways:

  • We let Jesus forgive and cleanse our sin.
  • We let Jesus redeem and heal our hurts so they don’t pollute our present.
  • We let Jesus’ truth push back the darker expectations we face from ourselves & others.
  • We let Jesus define us as we learn to embrace our identity in Him and His purpose for our leadership.

We NEVER outgrow our need to intentionally abide in Him. In the final pages they encourage us “Dealing openly, directly and biblically with the dark side is crucial to the future health of the church and its ministry effectiveness in the world.” (p. 214)

I hope this gives you a feel for how this book might be helpful in your own leadership growth and for those you are equipping as leaders. It is one of a handful of books I return to regularly.

My prayer for you is:

  • that your ministry will be marked by deepening dependance on Jesus.  
  • so that His grace and truth so fill your life, relationships and leadership
  • that the dark side has no room derail His calling or work in you.

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john shields

John currently serves as the Leadership Health Director for the Kansas-Nebraska Convention of Southern Baptists. He came to this role in 2021 after serving as lead pastor of Parkview church for 25 years. That season included walking through many joys, challenges & transitions. He learned and led through shifts in worship, staffing, structure, strategies and COVID with an overriding emphasis on making disciples and biblical church health. He is marked by a deep love for God’s Word. John has been involved in pastor cluster groups for many years and served KNCSB in a variety of volunteer roles including president of the convention. He has a passion for pastors and their families to thrive in their calling and relationships through a deepening relationship with Jesus & each other. He and Julie love connecting with and encouraging other ministry families.

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