There were a few times I wondered if I should quit. Maybe if I got out of the way the church would do better, grow faster, have greater impact. Have you ever felt that way?
There is an old pastor cliché that says “Never resign on a Monday.” There is great wisdom in that. It’s similar to the cultural wisdom that says we should never make a big decision when under great stress. The challenge of course is that big decisions often come with great stress!
It is our own drivenness that wears us out. Satan allies with our flesh in persistent whispers about our worth and even our calling. We feel like resigning
Seriously though, most pastor’s know the normal exhaustion that comes after a full weekend of ministry, only to hit Monday knowing you have to reload and start swinging all over again. When that combines with the normal ministry challenges of low grade conflict, disappointment or unrealized hopes discouragement grows. Discouragement feels heavier when we are worn out.
Of course, other people’s expectations can be a burden. But our own hopes of ministry success and impact can be a greater burden when they go unfulfilled. It is our own drivenness that wears us out. Satan allies with our flesh in persistent whispers about our worth and even our calling. We feel like resigning.
In one such moment, I did resign but not in the traditional way. Jesus broke in and I realized I needed to resign in a soul deep way. I sat at my desk wrung out in the best possible way ready to let go of everything but Jesus. It wasn’t a resignation from my role at the time. It was a resignation from the fleshy hopes and ambitions that too often plagued my heart. Maybe this isn’t a struggle for you. But in case it is, I share it here with you. May Jesus use it to help you embrace His calling without the clutter of your own fleshy ambitions.
Dear Jesus,
My life & service is in your hands. I am glad to serve where you ask in the ways you ask. I surrender my need to be right, be respected or followed at any time. I surrender my desire to achieve, win and be recognized as effective, knowledgeable, successful or even competent. I surrender my desire to get my way and be in charge. I surrender selfish desire for greater growth, prominence and impact for the purpose of receiving praise that is due You alone.
I am ready to resign or stay at your command in your time. I commit to following you more deeply and prioritizing what you are making of me over what I was making in this world. I will seek to love and serve you by loving and serving your people as you lead without regard for their response to me, to each other or even to You.
Please keep me in the place of holy surrender as long as I have breath and life.
Your servant,
The Pastor's Life 